number 136

"I rather hurt than feel nothing at all." - Lady Antebellum

But sometimes, the hurt gets overwhelming;

It tears you apart, yes.

Despite so, it is the only sign that you're alive.

Being able to smile only tells you that you're still around.

Only excruciating pain shows that you're alive, ironically.

Stupid, dumb, asshole, whatever other adjectives that is me.

Yeah manzsx. All that I can do is to lament, whine and complain continuously.

I don't have the power to create, or to change.

What's the point of holding on?

What's the point of wishing for something that you know very well that you can

Never never ever achieve or receive?

Ventured twice, failed twice. Am I useless or what?

Oh yes.

Work is the best way to make you forget who you are.

Sometimes, it is better to be transported to another dimension.

For a while, or for good.

It's better than suffering in the present.

You're irreplaceable.

Nope, it's seriously not a compliment.

It is plain, downright annoying.

I want to fly, want to move on, want to open myself once more.

But you hold that key,

To my cage, to my chain and to my heart.

I miss you, I hate you and I love you, above all.

No seriously, go away.

-

I actually feel accomplished today. Finished SS, Chem (notes + assignment) and half of Bio notes. I don't know why, I actually feel joyful doing Chem.

That's why I advocate for the fact that one should never stop doing work lest to feel the pain that tears you apart.

Back to Bio. PCR and biological scissors. Exciting.