Hurting myself;

you have to know how to protect yourself. from danger and from broken hearts. sometimes you might be able to cure your broken heart. but that is not easy to do. and it probably takes a very long process for it to heal completely. sometimes it may never even heal completely.

you have to know how to protect your heart because that's the only organ that is true to you. your mind might play tricks on you. but your heart simply would not.

But I don't know how to do just all that.

Hey guys, I'm really fine. I know now I feel like some weakling to all of you and well. I don't blame you for that.
Ugh, sometimes I'm disgusted at myself.

Well, yes I broke down during debate yesterday. Stupid right. I thought that was the dumbest thing to do rawr. No, I swear, it wasn't purely about the debate.
Well it was, partially. Don't say it was good. I know you don't mean it you're just being nice. It sounded so super screwed lah. Everyone was like giving me this are you talking rubbish look.
Okay then part two is the whole stupid quiz thing rawr I almost got everything wrong. I can't memorise details!!! So I have to be good in debate. Like that's kinda the reason I got in in the first place. This is bad. Really bad.

And well, all those added together are still not the main reason. They are the sparks, yes. But. No.

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My life's screwed. And I have been the cause of it.
You know what, I can't even take care of my own life. Every part of my damn life is screwed. Idk why but it just is.
I can't keep my friends with me. Even if I can, it's just temporary. And even if I can, I can't keep them safe.
So what if I can keep all the memories with me wherever I go? It just shows that I'm only capable of doing so.
I mean, He doesn't even care.
Damn it lah.

And you know what. If I screw WSC up, which I most probably do,
I should just go and jump off the building.
Useless lah. Three years in bball and not even zone team. So what if I'm actually the only person who cares? It's just epic useless. And plus, I suck at the sport anyway. So who am I to even care.
So what if I like it manzsx.

I can't do anything properly lah.

What's the point. I'm just born screwed and a loser. Like epic loser.

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Anyway, thanks guys. (: All of you; trainers and teammates. (L) you guys ttm. :D
Sorry for having such a useless and screwed teammate like me. ):