Hey guys.

I know I am freaking you guys out, appearing tired, restless, sad, whatever. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to be more positive, but I just can't. Really. It seems like this BIG part of me has gone wrong and my life's screwed. I don't want to stop going for training, stop believing and stop being with my team. I don't like it, really. Though I'm not bonded with them, but it really hurts just thinking of them.
I am tired of carrying that face saying that no, I don't care at all. When in fact, I do.
But I am also afraid of letting my heart out to hope again. I don't want to fall as hard as I am now. I feel broken. Literally. I don't want to break again.
But having said that, I'm really thankful for all your concerns (: I know you guys are concerned, and I know you guys are quite freaked out and don't really know what to do with me, but I'm trying my best to be fine. Well at least, look fine and feel fine. But I guess I really need more time.
Whatever. Do anything man. I just want to stop screwing up my life.

Serve you right yufei. Who the hell asked you to dream so high? Didn't you know that the higher you dream, the harder your fall? Who are you to blame anyone huh. Useless thing.